In support of facing rejection
A few weeks ago, I listened to the This Jungian Life episode on rejection. I sought this out after observing the theme of rejection in my world. No one enjoys going through these experiences, but some fear rejection so much that they will do everything in their power to avoid situations where they might be rejected. They can act out this fear in a range of ways, including isolating or withdrawing from social support or adapting their personality based on context to align more with what they perceive to be socially acceptable. If this resonates with you, then this post is for you.
In the episode, they suggest that to be authentic and to know and show ourselves to others, we must accept that we will be rejected. "If everyone likes us, if everybody approves of us at all times, it is because we don't have a clearly defined personality." In this case, we lack boundaries and allow the fear of what others think to dictate who we are.
This presents us with two choices.
Be our clearly defined self with others, live boldly, and face the rejection that comes with enjoying this freedom.
Hide and distort ourselves in the presence of others, experience social acceptance, and pay the cost of never fully being known.
But, as anyone who has attempted in earnest to protect themself from pain will know, no amount of hiding will spare you from experiencing the sting of rejection. Despite best efforts to shield yourself, you may still get broken up with, lose your job, be excluded from a social event, or receive a "we regret to inform you" letter from a program you desperately wanted to join. We don't get to opt in or out of these experiences.
And even if we could, what do we lose in a life of hiding?
the satisfaction of knowing we are accepted for who we truly are
genuine connection with others
the courage to reach out to new connections, experiences, and opportunities
If rejection is just a part of life, and no effort or energy can protect us from it, then maybe we should let go of the illusion that we have control over it.
If you can accept that this is a universal experience, what could you let go of? And what new possibilities might this open up for you?
With encouragement,
Riley
